


Damned If You Do

by turianosauruswrex



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Gen, hello everyone please meet my terrible hot mafia twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 06:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13070937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turianosauruswrex/pseuds/turianosauruswrex
Summary: You can't outsmart the devil, even if you're the most clever, most ruthless criminals in New Reno. (Alternate title: "[Always Sunny Title Card] The Hell Twins Summon A Demon")





	Damned If You Do

“You're sure this is going to work, Gustavo?” Ilena finishes braiding her hair back and turns to watch her brother painting the floor in sigils.

“Of course it is.” Gustavo kicks the shins of the middle-aged man they've got tied up in Ilena’s living room. “Why? Are you worried about him all of a sudden?”

“Worried about what he's going to be  _ containing. _ ”

“People get possessed all the time, Ilena. The world hasn't ended yet.”

“Not in the last two hundred years, anyway.” She starts striking matches and lighting candles placed around the room. “Those demons  _ want _ to be roaming around up here, though. We're dragging whichever one we get a hold of out of Hell presumably against its will; I can't imagine it'll be thrilled to see us.”

“That's what the sigils are for.” Gustavo drags the man up into a plain wooden chair and binds his hands and feet. “We'll be safe, I swear.”

“If you die-- if you let  _ me _ die--”

Gustavo smiles wide and embraces his sister. “There'll be hell to pay, I know.”

The man stirs and lets out a groggy groan, blinking open his eyes to take in the scene he's now a part of. “What...get the  _ hell _ outta my house! Release me this  _ instant _ or I'll tan yer hides, hooligans!” Flickering candlelight illuminates the twins’ faces and he gasps, a shiver suddenly running down his spine. “Ilena...? What’re you-- what's goin’ on?”

“Don't you worry, Maxwell, darling.” She steps forward to kiss his forehead, then around him to toss a book to Gustavo from the shelf. “My brother knows what he's doing. Well. Mostly.” She nods-- once, firm, and Gustavo opens the book and begins reading aloud.

“Ad constringendum, ad ligandum eos pariter et solvendum: Et ad congregandum eos coram me.” His voice holds steady, loud and clear enough to be heard in the depths of Hell. If he's nervous not even their demon would be able to tell. “Precipimus tibi quod respondendum vocationem nostram ducendam et ad arbitrium nostrum.”

Ilena seizes the man's arm. “Now, Max, I'm afraid we  _ are _ going to need a little blood.”

“You don't-- you don't have to do this!”

“I do, though, don't you understand?”

“Anythin’ you want, Ilena, I'll give it to ya, you name it and you'll have it, swear to God.”

Ilena's voice plummets as she takes out a knife and places the blade against his wrist. “What I want, you can't give me. You never could. Maybe you should've thought about that before marrying me.”

At the last minute she sweeps the knife up to his neck and slices through his throat; without a glance back she rejoins her brother to watch the man sputter and bleed out. “What now?”

“We wait for an answer.” He looks her over, lingering on the blood flecks on her hands. “Are you alright?”

A slow, satisfied smile spreads across her face. “I've never been better in my  _ life. _ ”

“I thought you'd say so.” Gustavo puts an arm around her shoulders but before either of them can say any more the sigils erupt in flames, singeing the man's body but doing no harm to the house. The twins freeze, staring wide-eyed at their handiwork; with another flash the fire dies down again, leaving only the body-- sitting stiff and upright in the chair, free of its bonds and staring directly at them. The gash in its neck is burned and scabbed over, its eyes bright, electric blue and riveted on the pair. It stands and walks deliberately towards them, stopping just as it toes the outer edge of the ritual circle.

**_“WHO SUMMONS ME?”_ **

The voice is low, growling, echoing around the room. Gustavo clears his throat and steps forward, Ilena close behind. “My sister and I do. Gustavo and Ilena Bautista. We want to make a deal.”

The body-- the demon-- tilts its head curiously, examining what it's been presented with, before wrinkling its host's nose in disgust.  **“** **_CHILDREN._ ** **YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DO. WITH WHOM YOU** **_SPEAK._ ** **”**

“We're not  _ children, _ ” Ilena spits, bristling, but Gustavo holds her back.

“Then enlighten us, please. We would love to get to know our new demonic patron.”

Its laugh rattles the windows, the very foundation of the house.  **“TWO** **_CHILDREN,_ ** **”** it repeats, more amused now than contemptuous,  **“WITH NAUGHT BUT FOUR DECADES BETWEEN THEM, BELIEVE THEY CAN BARGAIN WITH** **_ME?_ ** **I AM NO MERE DEMON,** **_BOY._ ** **”**

“Then what are you?”

It spreads its arms, taking a few steps back from them. The shadow it casts grows much, much larger, elongating up the wall to the ceiling, three pairs of wings twice as far across as the thing is tall stretching around the room from its back.  **“I AM** **_AZRAEL,_ ** **FORMERLY ANGEL OF VENGEANCE AND DEATH, NOW FALLEN-- BANISHED TO HELL FOR REFUSING TO BEND THE KNEE TO THOSE UNWORTHY. YOU WANTED A DEMON-- CONGRATULATIONS. YOU RECEIVED** **_BETTER._ ** **”**

_ Shit. _

“Gustavo,” Ilena whispers, “maybe we should just let it go, try again later-- we can't control an  _ angel-- _ ”

“If it wanted to kill us,” he hisses back, “it would have already--”

**“CORRECT.”** The interjection nearly makes the twins jump out of their skin. They look back at the thing in the circle-- it's still smiling at them, now seated, relaxed, in the chair, surrounded by a pool of blood.  **“YOU...ARE** **_FORTUNATE._ ** **AUDACIOUS ENOUGH THAT I AM WILLING TO HEAR YOUR PROPOSITION-- FOR NOW. CONTINUE, AND IF IT ENTERTAINS ME, I MAY CONSIDER ACCEPTING.”**

The twins glance at each other. Gustavo shrugs and steps forward again. “We want...power. For too long we've been at the mercy of others too reluctant to give it-- my sister had to marry your...vessel, just to get a roof over her head. We were on the outskirts of the NCR-- raiders destroyed our home and left us powerless. We barely  _ escaped _ after our parents’ deaths. We nearly  _ starved. _ We've barely dodged  _ slavers. _ We don't want to be in that position ever, ever again.”

Azrael narrows its eyes.  **“COME CLOSER.”**

“I'm not an idiot.”

**“I WON'T HARM YOU. I GIVE YOU MY WORD.”** It returns to the edge of the circle, waiting with its hands folded politely behind its back.

Hesitant, Gustavo drifts forward to meet it, stopping just out of arm's reach.

**“YOU WANT...AGENCY. THE CAPABILITY TO CHANGE ADVERSE SITUATIONS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE, THROUGH WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY. AND YOU WANT VENGEANCE ON THOSE WHO WRONGED YOU AND MADE YOU A VICTIM-- AM I UNDERSTANDING CORRECTLY?”**

“Yes,” Gustavo answers, then hastily adds, “sir.”

**“THIS, I CAN PROVIDE. ON TWO CONDITIONS.”**

The twins nod, and Azrael holds up a finger.

**“THE FIRST: ON YOUR DEATHS, YOUR SOULS WILL BE MINE. NO EXCEPTION. NO ATTEMPTS TO BREAK THE CONTRACT AND I WILL MAKE NO ATTEMPTS TO CUT YOUR LIVES SHORT. IT’S A SIMPLE ARRANGEMENT: YOU DIE, AND YOUR SOULS BELONG TO** **_ME._ ** **IS THIS UNDERSTOOD?”**

They nod again.

**“GOOD. AS FOR THE SECOND.”** It leans forward and glares at Gustavo, eyes crackling, almost blinding with a white glow.  **_“DO NOT LIE TO ME AGAIN, BOY.”_ **

Gustavo jolts backwards, stumbling into Ilena. “I--”

**“IF YOU** **_THINK_ ** **I CANNOT TELL FALSEHOODS FROM TRUTH YOU ARE A** **_FOOL,_ ** **EVEN FOR MANKIND.”** Azrael spins on its heel and walks back to the chair before turning around again.  **“I REQUIRE NO TRAGIC HISTORY TO MAKE A CONTRACT. THE PRESENCE OR ABSENCE OF REASON MAKES LITTLE DIFFERENCE TO ME, PARTICULARLY THOSE THAT ARE** **_UNTRUE._ ** **”**

“If it doesn't matter if we have a reason,” Ilena says, frowning, “then why--”

**“SOULS HAVE POWER. WE ALL WANT IT. WITH THIS ARRANGEMENT, WE WILL ALL HAVE IT. DO NOT QUESTION ME FURTHER.”** It picks up the knife Ilena dropped and holds it out to them.  **“YOUR SOULS FOR MAGIC. DO WE HAVE A DEAL?”**

The twins share another long look. All that needs to be said between them, they understand without ever opening their mouths. Ilena takes her brother's hand and steps forward into the circle with him, nodding.

“We have a deal.”

Azrael smiles wide.  **“EXCELLENT.”** It slices its palm open, black ooze dripping out of the wound, and hands the knife to the twins, who follow suit. One after the other-- first Ilena, then Gustavo-- they shake hands with this fallen angel, and as they do they can feel the air crackling with electricity and a new, almost overwhelming warmth flooding their systems.

**“IT IS DONE.”** Azrael steps back and bows with a mocking flourish.  **“UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN.”**

With the sound of leathery wings, it disappears, taking its unfortunate vessel with it and extinguishing the candles in a gust of wind, leaving the twins in the dark.

Ilena sinks to the floor, joined shortly by her brother. “Did it...did it work?”

Gustavo brushes a finger against the inexplicably healed wound on his palm. “I think so...let's find out.”

“How?”

He turns to grin at her. “Let's burn this place to the ground.” With a snap, his fingertips ignite, shining a flickering light on both their faces. “Let's  _ burn _ it and never look back.”

\------------------------

Years later in New Reno, Ilena and Gustavo Bautista-- now Iris and Gideon Benjamin, in the employ of mafioso and demigod Silas Bishop-- sit bored in his office, waiting on a meeting with him and his daughter Julia (another mess they were none too eager to learn about but all too keen to investigate) and some...dignitary, some representative from Utah that Julia insists is vital to whatever the hell she and her father are doing. It's none of the Benjamins’ business, officially, so of course they know everything the two are up to. Training her to lead the Bishops in one final push for the rest of New Reno that wasn't already theirs-- pity Evangeline couldn't just do it but the poor girl is a brilliant necromancer and  _ only _ a necromancer-- under the guise of vengeance for two of Julia's three death's. Admirable, but why this Joshua Graham is  _ necessary-- _

The double doors to Silas’ office swing open and in strolls the man himself, Julia at his side, followed by a man wrapped head to toe in white bandages. “Sorry to keep the two a’ you waitin’ so long,” Silas says, assuming his place behind his desk and switching on a lamp. “You don’t gotta stay in the dark y’know. Far as I know none a’ us are vampires; we can use a little light.”

“That’s not how...” Julia balls her fists and takes a deep breath before giving up. Learned quick that it’s impossible to argue with Silas, did she? She pulls up a chair and sits beside her father, keeping her distance from the twins. “This is Joshua Graham, a...an acquaintance of mine from the Mojave. He’s here to help us fight Caesar-- who better for the task than the former Legate himself?”

“Mr. Graham, these are Iris and Gideon Benjamin, my lieutenants,” Silas offers, leaning back in his chair. 

“A pleasure to meet you.” The twins step forward to shake Graham’s hand, but Iris freezes and grabs her brother’s.

The shadow Graham casts on the wall behind him is massive, with wings flaring from either side and a hand raised in a taunting wave. His eyes, that same intense blue they thought they'd seen the last of years ago. And when he  _ speaks _ ...

**“Likewise. I’m sure my knowledge will be of value in the coming weeks-- God willing, the Legion will never arrive, but in the event they do, you’ll be glad I’m here.”**

The reverberation-- the growl underneath his ordinary tone-- they  _ know _ who it is.

_ Shit _ .


End file.
